14 March 2011 Life's Good

            After days of ignoring me, my mom finally allowed me to show her my work! She didn’t speak for a while, but I could see from the facial expression that she was impressed. Then she said that I would be allowed to go only if I promise that if I don’t succeed, I will have to go apply to UCLA again to pursue a career in the medical field. I wasn’t hesitant to accept this offer because in my heart, I knew that I will become successful in fashion designing. It has become my passion!

            My aunt brought me to take a look at the FIDM located in San Francisco on Friday. It looks amazing! I couldn’t stop looking at it for 10 minutes! High school needs to ended quickly so that I can attended FIDM as soon as possible!! 

--Mackenzie

02 March 2011 Accepted to FIDM

            I GOT ACCEPTED TO FIDM!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!

            My mom was furious when she found out that I had actually applied to FIDM. She told me to not think about accepting the offer because there is no chance she’s going to pay for it. However, I called up my aunt and she said to give my mom some time for her to calm down. When the time is right, I should sit down with my mom and show her all the work that I had put into applying. Tomorrow, my aunt is going to come to try to persuade her as well. I really wanted to accept the offer right then and there, but not if it means that I’ll disown my own mom…My mind is going to burst with all this tension!

--Mackenzie

26 February 2011 Acceptance

            The day I find out whether I got accepted has finally come. In the morning before class started, Emily seemed really tense so I asked her what had happened. She then expressed that today is the day Berkeley and UCLA are sending out acceptance letters at 3:00p.m. This made my heart race because it will determine whether my mom will be more determined to force me to go to one of the schools.

            Class ended at 3:05 p.m. and I quickly rushed back home. My mom had called from work right when I got back to tell me to quickly check if I got accepted. Apparently, she already knew that the schools are sending out acceptance today. I logged in with my temporary Berkeley e-mail address and the first thing I see is “I’m sorry to inform you…” I was happy at first because now my mom can’t make me go to that school! However, I was a little disappointed to be rejected. Then, I went to UCLA’s website to login to the admission page. In huge capitalized letters I see “CONGRATULATIONS.” I was really shocked to make it into one of the best schools in California, but that shock quickly turned into despair. Now, my mom will use all her power to accept the offer!! I’ve been to UCLA campus before and I could already feel the competition right when I got out of the car. I don’t want to feel that way every single day! I can’t wait to hear from FIDM because that is the only way I can escape from my mom’s planned future for me!

--Mackenzie

3 December 2010 FIDM

             On Tuesday, I talked to my aunt who is my mom’s younger sister by 12 years. She asked me about my applications and I told her that I wasn’t truly happy with it. I expressed that I have a growing desire to go into fashion designing industry. That’s when she introduced me to Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising or rather, FIDM. She said it was a good school that focuses mainly on fashion and design! That’s just what I want to do! I told her that my mom would never allow me to apply but she encouraged me to try anyways because I should be in charge of my life, not my mom. I know that becoming a designer is not a traditional and stable job, but I think I will be able to handle it. I would never know if I don’t give it a chance.

            That night, I went on FIDM’s website to see what I needed to do to apply. The deadline was 5 days away which meant I don’t have much time! I have to create an Inspiration Page of colors and styles that inspire me. Also, I have to sketch 6 fashion illustrations with fabric attached.

            As of now, I’m done with my inspiration page: 

            I don’t have any fabric at home so I’m going to ask Mrs. Rubay tomorrow. I hope I can turn this in on time! My mom has no idea I’m applying to FIDM because I see no point in making a fuss if I don’t even get accepted. When the time comes, I’ll figure something out; my aunt said she’ll help me persuade her as well.

--Mackenzie

22 November 2010 Submission

            I was so reluctant to press the submit button for my college application to UCLA and Berkeley…I did what my mom wanted so she better be happy. I might not even get accepted! My mom would go berserk on me if that really happens…

--Mackenzie

13 October 2010 College Application

In English class today, we started working on our personal statements for college applications! This is kind of frustrating because I don’t even know where I want to apply to! My mom keeps urging me to apply to UCLA and Berkeley because they have good biological programs that would look good when I apply to medical school…that’s only if I apply. Becoming a doctor is the only future she sees for me! One of the prompts for the personal statement asked us to describe our goal in life. My main goal is to live a happy life doing what I love; I know I won’t be happy as a doctor! Designing that top really sparked an interest in fashion and designing in me! I’m actually taking what Jennifer said that day more seriously…Maybe I really can become a fashion designer! Since UCLA and Berkeley don’t have any programs that focus much on designing, I don’t think I can fulfill my dream…

I have a month left to decide if I should obey my mom’s order to apply to those schools or not…

--Mackenzie

05 October 2010 Bittersweet

            Today I got my design project back! I was really proud of how it turned out because I spent a lot of time focusing on the little details. When Mrs. Rubay was handing back our projects, she stopped when mine came up to show the whole class. She was surprised I was able to pull it off because the front part of the design is quite complicated with another layer hanging off from the side. I’m surprise too since I never really learned how to use a sewing machine. I was so shocked to see that I got an A+ on the project! I was expecting an A or A- but an A+? For the rest of the school day, I had a huge smile on my face! I couldn’t help it! Especially in Math class where Jennifer noticed! She was really proud of me when I told her about my design. She even joked about me becoming a fashion designer and asked for my autograph! That silly girl!

            Everything was going wonderful until I got home. I was really excited to show my mom my grade for my project hoping that she’ll become more open to me drawing and designing but I was wrong. My mom didn’t have a smile on her face, but a frown instead. She stared at me for a while in silence until I had to break the silence by asking her if she was proud of me. After a long pause, she crumpled the paper with my grade and told me to focus on my other subjects more because those are going to be more useful for me when I become a doctor. This really tipped me off because I never said I wanted to be a doctor! All the blood and flesh scares me! How does she expect me to become something I have no interest in? I know that it was her dream to be a doctor when she was little, but her family couldn’t afford to pay for her education. However, she pushes me to become a doctor because society is always going to need doctors and they make a lot of money. I think money is the biggest reason my mom wants me to become a doctor...I don’t really know what I want to do anymore…

--Mackenzie

30 September 2010 Designing Project

            We finally started the designing project for art class!! However, I’m still at my brainstorming and sketching stage of the process. This is how it looks so far:

            I have so many ideas but I really like this one! Since this will be my first time actually making a top with a sewing machine, I’m choosing a simple design which will be easier for me to put together with real material.        

          My mom saw my rough sketches when I accidentally left it out on the dining table and she gave me really harsh comments…She said it looked like rags that beggars would wear. I know it tough for her to see me drawing again, but she should not say anything at all if all she has to say are negative comments. My mom is actually really nice and caring but when it comes to drawing, she turns into a paranoid person. I’m not going to let this affect me because she isn’t up-to-date with fashion so her opinion doesn’t matter to me. When I showed Mrs. Rubay, she thought my sketch had a lot of potential. If I put in all my effort with creating the actual product, it will turn out to be really abstract and edgy. I might have to stay after school for a few days, but it’ll be worth it!

--Mackenzie

23 August 2010 First Day being a Senior

Senior year has just begun!!! I couldn't even sleep the past night because I was so excited to see all my friends again at school and to meet all my new teachers of course! I was up and ready before my alarm clock rang! When I got to my English class, we were assigned seating which I really oppose because we're Seniors now so we should be able to choose where we want sit! This really sucks because my friend Emily got assigned to a seat on the opposite side of the room! For the next 45 minutes, we just went over the course syllabus listing all the books we're going to be reading throughout the year. I didn't even get a chance to talk to Emily before we had to part to our next class. The next class I had was Biotechnology which I had signed up with my friends Amy and Katie. It was so nice to see Amy again because she had just came back from her visit to Vietnam! She even got me a sterling silver bracelet that complemented the outfit I wore today! Since Biotech is an elective class, I'm not too worry about the workload and my teacher seemed really laid back.

Break time!!! I didn't know where to go because they place my friends and I used to hang out was now taken over by underclassmen!!! Luckily, I saw Stacey on the way over to the Senior Hall so we just found an empty place next to the lockers to sit and chat. Her hair has grown so long since the last time I saw her! We talked about interesting events that happened in the summer like Stacey’s cousin’s wedding that served a cake 10 feet tall! (I need to remind her to show me a picture.)

            My third class was what I looked forward to this year because it’s art! Ever since I was 10, I’ve been drawing whatever comes to mind in a sketchbook I hide up in my closet because my mom never wants to see me draw. She thinks that I’m wasting time I could be using to study. Now that I have an art class, I hope she’ll be more lenient on me when she sees me drawing because it will be graded. In class, Mrs. Rubay introduced the class to the different art projects we will be asked to do. The one that got me excited was designing an article of clothing! When my mom isn’t back from work yet, I would always watch Project Runway where aspiring fashion designers would compete to be the best designer. Mostly all of the time, the end result turned out to be really breathtaking! I can’t wait till we begin this project!

            As for Math, I was not nervous at all because Mr. Enriquez was my teacher for Statistics last year so I felt really relaxed going into that class. In Forensics, we did a little ice-breaker activity that I found to be pointless because I was familiar with mostly everyone. My last class, Physiology, went by so fast! Mr. Vasques was explaining the course requirements and when I looked at the clock, it was already time to leave!

            It feels so strange to be going to class again, but I’m really excited for all my classes!

--Mackenzie